Michael Knowles "Marriage Debate" Highlights Ideological Problems with Pearly Things
/When I criticize Pearl Davis, known online as “Pearly Things,” some users say, “Don’t go after Pearl. She’s on the same side!”
I disagree. Does she say things I agree with? Sure. Does she probably vote for the same people I would? Most likely. Do we have similar tastes in podcasts? We both watch the Daily Wire. While Pearl can point out the destructive ailments of feminism, I have heavy concerns that Pearl, the “red-pill” darling, is offering more disease instead of a cure.
This was highlighted in her marriage debate with conservative commentator Michael Knowles. At one point in the conversation, Knowles was asked how to solve the institution of marriage. He said at the political level: reform the divorce laws such as banning no-fault divorce, disincentivizing divorce as a financial and political matter, eradicating feminism, overrule the Obergefell decision which redefined marriage and removed the sexual complementary nature of it, for starters. Then, he would encourage a return to traditional religion in public life, because people are inherently theological and you either worship God or something else like money, sex, or individualism (which he claims liberals and the “red-pill” folks want us to do). Then, at the individual level, he’d ask people to live with “right reason and virtue.”
Pearl claimed to not disagree with Knowles, but she speaks negatively about marriage for men in the “meantime,” until “the quality of the wives go up and the risk goes down.” When Knowles asked how to increase the quality, she said, “I told you step one: the treadmill.” The next step was “not being fat.” Women saving themselves for marriage seemed like a good idea to her (though Pearl does not pass this test herself). “Not accusing your husband of abuse, taking the kids, and getting fat after you get the ring.”
When image consultant Kevin Samuels was alive and had his popular radio program, he’d ask women to rate themselves and often brought up their weight. But Samuels usually whipped out that system when women expressed extremely high standards for men—delusional, even—so, he humbled them. Even when beautiful and healthy women bragged about how much of a catch they were because of their education and financial status, Samuel let them know the traits men truly desired in wives are kindness, cooperativeness, and someone who will be nurturing. Pearl didn’t advocate for these traits. Pearl’s focus on what disqualified women from marriage material was being overweight, in debt, and having tattoos.
I didn’t always agree with Kevin Samuels’ advice, but he would give women and men harsh yet constructive criticism to benefit their lives. Pearl has no trouble demonizing women. Pearl even bragged about how she offered cash to a girl to lose weight, and she complained that she failed. Pearl has also been trying to get women to stop sleeping around. But she has a completely different approach to men. “I think that men are tired of being told what to do by women, so I think every man has to decide…” Pearl claimed she wasn’t in the business of telling men what to do. But her issue wasn’t simply with women instructing men, because she took issue when Knowles expressed what men ought to do, and that Knowles was confident enough to know—through logic and reason—what the right thing was. “It almost sounds like you’re playing God.”
Pearl refused to acknowledge that she advises men, even though she suggested they withhold their vote from both parties until the laws change. She doesn’t believe that’s her place as a commentator; she’s simply observing how the world is while Knowles deals with how the world ought to be. But Pearl is advocating for how the world ought to be; she just doesn’t want to take accountability for what happens if her advice is followed.
Knowles accused Pearl of having a more liberal worldview, not only for suggesting men should do whatever they want rather than what is good, but also because her tirade against marriage leads to hedonism. Even though there are issues surrounding marriage, men still want to have relations with women and have children, and marriage is an institution meant to protect and cultivate that family. Men aren’t going to stop having sex with women or having children, and if they did, there goes the species. When Knowles tried to make Pearl see the result of her advocacy, she’d revert to the claim that she doesn’t tell men what to do. Pearl is dodging responsibility, similar to the women she often degrades.
Knowles also pointed out that Pearl’s solutions weren’t so much about preserving or restoring the sanctity of marriage, but rather making divorce more comfortable for men. Pearl suggested getting rid of alimony and child support. She, rightfully, advocated for men to be treated more fairly in the courts regarding the custody of children. But Pearl also tried to prove the court shouldn’t prefer women having custody early in their childhood because they’re more abusive. After Knowles presented statistics and gave logical explanations as to why there might be a discrepancy (women tend to spend far more time with children), Pearl tried to make her case using abortion. She wouldn’t factor in male abortionists or politicians who make it possible because women are the ones who get the abortion. The obvious explanation for this discrepancy is that only women can get pregnant and have abortions.
Even when Knowles used stats of people who aren’t divorced to make a point, Pearl questioned how many marriages are truly successful or happy. In the past, Pearl used James Bond actor Pierce Brosnan as an example of an unhappy marriage because his wife of more than twenty years is thicker than she used to be (though, Pearl had a difficult time defining what she believed to be happiness). She’s also expressed that getting fat was grounds for divorce as well. In Pearl’s world, a man could divorce his stay-at-home wife of twenty years for a younger fitter woman and leave her without money for herself or her children.
Pearl challenged Knowles on what should be done in the meantime. He recommended getting politically involved and electing good candidates. “Go to church, work hard, put away the porn, don’t do like drugs, do things you ought to do. Date in a way that is virtuous, and then get married, and have children, and be fruitful and multiply because if we can’t out-argue the liberals, we might at least outbreed them.”
Pearl expressed frustration with women for not taking a submissive role in relationships and at churches that instill a more egalitarian worldview. However, Pearl never accepted the possibility that men were failing in their roles as leaders. She downplayed their impact on societal ills and insisted that women who don’t want to be led can’t be. Knowles told Pearl she underestimated the power of men’s persuasion, which can lead women for better or worse. For example, Pearl rails against women for abortions, but men like Benard Nathanson, Lawrence Lader, Alan Guttmacher, and every Supreme Court Justice who decided Roe v. Wade, had a profound impact on the spread of abortion in the U.S. There are plenty of feminists you can blame if you want to complain about the sexual revolution, but you can’t ignore the likes of sexologist Dr. Alfred Kinsey. Yes, the OnlyFans models on the “Whatever” podcast are contributing to the moral decay of our society, but so are the Andrew Tates of the world and the men who pay to objectify these women.
Perhaps the greatest frustration with Pearl is her lack of grace and mercy for women who have failed and turned their lives around. Multiple times, she told Knowles that dating former OnlyFans models should be off the table for men. Knowles admitted it wasn’t ideal, but he believed in redemption. The only time she seemed to mock men was when they were open to the idea of dating a former whore. On more than one occasion, Pearl has mocked women in the church who repented for their sins and planned to live celibate lives. She finds it ridiculous that women could be “ran through,” come to God, expect to get husbands, and have happy marriages. She thinks they should be “ruined” and it’s bad to preach “there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.” This is ridiculous. The light at the end of the tunnel is Christ, and God’s grace isn’t Pearl’s to grant.
Pearl referenced Apostle Paul because he lived a purpose-driven life without marriage, but Paul also noted God delivered his followers from sexual immorality and other sins in 1 Corinthians. “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.” Paul also said it is better to marry than to burn with passion. It’s great to grow up in church virtually doing the right thing your whole life, but man people who come to church have a past. If God can save Apostle Paul after persecuting and killing Christians, the OnlyFans model is not outside of his reach.
Though Pearl kept reminding Knowles that she, too, was Catholic, she also spouted, “Facts don’t care about your religion.” She seemed to want to claim religion to diminish Knowles as the authority on the topic, but Pearl demonstrated God was not much of an authority in her reasoning or convictions. Since the debate, she’s retweeted an account stating that millions of men won’t be going to church because Knowles won’t support mandatory paternity tests. Men should seek God and attend church because they are chasing after the Truth, and a disagreement with a Catholic man on the internet shouldn't dissuade you.
In the beginning of Pearl’s recap video of the debate, she claims everyone is always trying to sell something and she’s just trying to tell the truth. This is ridiculous. Pearl is selling something: victim culture to men. While I appreciate that Pearl shines a light on the legitimate suffering men face, if she wanted to present objective truths, she would spend more time acknowledging the role men play in ending marriages. Pearl may not want to tell men to make moral choices, but she has no issue delivering moral edicts to women and demonizing them. Oddly enough, Pearl believes offering testimonies of repentant promiscuous women is liberal, because there aren’t enough consequences for their former poor life choices, yet she promotes the idea that men should do whatever they want.
I agree with Pearl that women should stop sleeping around, killing their children, and treating men like trash. I also believe men should stop sleeping around with women, supporting/pressuring women to kill their children, and treating women like objects. Even the examples Pearl gave of what makes women poor marriage material were centered around their sexual desirableness rather than nurturing traits or domestic skills. Marriage is a risk for both parties. Risks will never go away, but they can be mitigated. While Pearl can present plenty of anecdotal stories that make marriage sound like a nightmare, Ben Shapiro has addressed Pearl and presented data that supports marriage is well worth the risk.
There are many things I can agree with Pearl about, but while I like to talk politics, discussions on how the world ought to be is important. If we’re going to accept the world progressives built for us and react with legislation that solidifies social ills and creates new problems, all we’ve done is mutate the virus.
