Our Modern Society is Cruel to Men

No one wants to acknowledge this, but our society is incredibly cruel to men. I imagine this sort of declaration will cause feminists to simultaneously bristle.

“We live under the terror of the patriarchy!”

“Toxic masculinity!”

“Me too!”

By no means, am I saying men are perfect. But we are, undoubtedly, cruel to them, and our cruelty will not turn frogs into princes; we’re turning mice into mutated monsters.  

Two nights ago, I was scrolling on Twitter (the most terrible place to share your most vulnerable feelings). A man said, “The woman I thought I loved went and got an abortion today. I feel hurt, sick to my stomach, and dead inside.” He didn’t know who to open up to about it because they knew many of the same people.

Many users recommended resources and counseling. Many offered words of encouragement. One man confessed his wife had an abortion 20 years ago before the two got married. He was still resentful and had no one to confide in.

“This is exactly what I am afraid of if I just tried to forget about it. I don’t think I ever could, even though I would want to.”

The responses from abortion activists were horrid. Many said his girlfriend dodged a bullet. Others blamed him for being a beta male. Of course, their religious mantra “her body, her choice,” was repeated. They were offended this man would not support his girlfriend’s choice. He was supposed to be silent like a rusted, heartless Tin Man.

Men are entitled to care about their children being brutally killed. Unfortunately, too many women are more outraged at me referring to the unborn as children than they are about the children being starved/suffocated, ripped apart, or receiving a lethal injection.

A child is a son or daughter of any age, and age is the length of time that a person has lived or a thing has existed, and our lives—certainly our existence—begin at the moment of conception. Abortion does not erase a child from existence. It can’t undo creation; a successful abortion only begets death. He’s still a father, and his child has been taken from him. But unlike most parents who lose a young child, he has no memories to find comfort in. He’ll never know the scent of his child’s skin or the gentle sound of his baby’s coo. This father has questions and can only speculate about the wonder of his child’s smile and the world of possibilities they’ll never get to experience together. It wasn’t a natural death that tragically ended his child’s life. A woman he loved decided the tiny human they made together, who shares half of his DNA, was unworthy of life.

Why is his heartbreak detestable?

Feminists often criticize older generations for raising men to be insensitive, yet men are ridiculed for sharing their personal thoughts and the depths of their wounds.

They don’t want men to speak because they don’t want to compromise the power of a “woman’s choice” and hinder her bodily autonomy. When it comes to a man’s bodily autonomy, he has greater limitations than a woman. If that child is born, 18-25 years of his life will be devoted to child support payments, whether he agrees or disagrees. His money is an extension of his labor, generated by his body. Men are expected to sign up for the draft when they turn 18. As a matter of fact, the Selective Service Tweeted out a reminder that if you are your family’s one and only son, you still have to possibly die for your country. Not even identifying as a woman can cause a biological man to escape the duty to sacrifice for the greater good.

When it comes to abortion, men are told, “No uterus, no opinion.” We tell fathers they have no right to protect their children. This completely goes against their purpose, yet the abortion activists insist this is the only moral position. Of course, their misandry is selective. Men who support abortion are celebrated as good allies. No one tells them to be silent. Some of the most egregious comments I’ve received are from pro-choice men. A man on Tiktok once told me he wanted to scoop my eggs out with a hanger.

Vice President Kamala Harris urged men to consider the consequences of Roe v. Wade being overturned. In other words, think of what will happen if men get saddled up with a child and how it will derail their life. Alexandria Ocasio Cortez told GQ Magazine something similar. “For almost every woman that has gotten an abortion, there’s a man who has been affected or liberated by that abortion too. In this moment it’s really only going to be the vulnerability of men, and men talking to other men, that gives us the greatest hope of shifting things the fastest, soonest.”

They’re openly depending on the misogyny of men and their irresponsibility to protect abortion. This is particularly egregious since a 2017 study found that 58.3% of women who report emotional distress from abortion, said they had one to make someone else happy. 73.8% felt pressured.

Mothers deserve support, and men need responsibility. There’s great meaning to taking it on and voluntarily bearing burdens. And women know it too. There’s much coverage about the Turn Away Study and the financial impact a woman may face if she isn’t allowed to have an abortion, but it’s rarely mentioned that 96% of women who are turned away don’t regret not having an abortion. The relationships you forge with your children are more valuable than what you could have gained without them in your life.

But even knowing that women will, ultimately, come to be grateful they did not take their children’s lives, we push abortion-on-demand to respect her sacred “choice.”

So, what happens if we continue to condition men to sacrifice their children for their personal gain? What happens after we shame their paternal instincts and feelings into oblivion? What happens if we continue to push sexual relations away from building family structures and center them around self-gratification?

We continue building misogynists who care little for women, women harden by becoming more like the misogynists they despise, and they cope by doing Tiktok Lives every night, insisting body count doesn’t matter, not because they believe it doesn’t, but because they resent the fact that it does.

We shame good men who care. Even when men take care of their kids, feminists are angry they’re praised for “doing the bare minimum.”

Well, the bare minimum starts with “life.” If you conceive an unplanned child, you can at least allow them to live out their natural life.

The heartbroken father ended up deleting his comment because it attracted too much hate. I don’t blame him. But it’s very telling that he wasn’t allowed to openly grieve the loss of his child. There’s no tiny coffin to bury them in, but his feelings are evidence enough of their inherent value and debunks the lie that abortion is solely between a woman and her doctor.

And that’s why their cruelty is necessary.

I often speak of the great societal harm of abortion. We can file this story as further evidence.